Monday, 12 April 2021


It's been three months since I've blogged :/ I was hoping to keep a semi-regular commentary of lockdown life going, but haven't. I haven't really felt moved to review anything, as I am sometimes wont to do, or really 'get funny' with anything. I don't know why, really. I don't know why I blog, or what this blog means to me... Anyway, I won't go into a big conceptual analysis of 'blogging and me', I just wanted to say that I still have a soft spot for Blogtastic, and I do feel a duty to what my stats assure me is one very regular viewer. So, here's to you BlogBot303 - I hope you enjoy reading this, and thank you, because really, everything I do is for you.

Would you believe me if I told you that I'd had my foot bitten off while swimming in Morecambe bay? Well, don't. That would be a lie if I said that. But I didn't. I think it was a clumsy attempt at humour and/or hooking you (no fishing pun intended), dear reader, into wanting to read my post. Glad I tried that... Here's the rest of it;

What has been going on? Well, as a furloughed person trying to put plenty of life in my days, I feel like lots is going on. Then I put it into words, and think, no, I got nuthin' goin' on haha. I have regular tasks (properly regular, like, daily) - such as Duolingoing, going outside for walks, plucking my eyebrows - and have kept them up for months now, which is good. I still don't have a proper spiny routine, which is a constant issue with me. Sleeping so poorly doesn't help (it doesn't help anything, actually, and I read Matthew Walker's Why We Sleep, just to really rub my own face in my dangerously unhealthy failures as a basic operating human...), but so does not have regular things outside of myself. My dream is to have a proper regular job, where I know when I'll be off, and to be able to volunteer somewhere, and obviously write, and keep my OnlyFans updated. Y'know, just the little things. Shouldn't be too hard to do in a Tory 'run' country that would rather I worked myself into an early grave for little recompense, rather than 'live to work', but if I died now that'd be just as good (to them). Erm, where was I... Probably a good time to mention Can't Get You Out of My Head. My neighbour actually recommended it to me, and I'm so glad he did. It's a six-part documentary that I ain't all the way thru yet, but it's basically a history of the socio-political developments largely of the mid to late twentieth century - but it touches on things from further back etc - from a more emotional viewpoint, i.e. the human motivations behind movements, rather than just facts and impressions of characters. I found it depressing in parts, because of the harsh truths of it, but therefore liberating to be able to put fingers on certain things. And I don't swallow it all, by any means, but thanks to the visual style of it, I'm even enjoying the parts I don't necessarily agree with. Anyways, do check it out, it's great.

Also, I turned thirty recently, and feel like I'm on another level a bit, able to see things stretching out a little bit. Probably that's just a coincidence. Who knows. Thorny personal issues at home remain largely the same. Hope and cynicism have new weapons and battle vigourously in my mind, but, so as long as hope it still standing, then I'll carry on trying. Oh yeah, my birthday was nice. Always is, as I'm blessed with some lovely family members and friends who got in touch, met for coffee, did some useful things around the house that made me feel purposeful... Yeah, 'low key', I always call it, or 'chilled', but that's how I like it :) I don't normally like a birthday fuss, but I am looking forward to throwing a bit of a shindig when people can attend, so check your post for your invite (especially you, BlogBot303 - it wouldn't be the same without you! Though when I try and email you, it says 'delivery failure' over and over...).

I have been doing some good reading (indeed, I have been enjoying the 2020 Literary Lancashire Anthology, available for purchase here. What a talented bunch of people I ended up amongst :) ), have been on and off with the wrting (submitted to this year's LLA, and still want to be more active reaching out to non-competition publications. Even thought of an old idea that If a Leaf Falls Press might like. Check out their catalogue, I regularly get and enjoy their titles) - tho quite 'on' at the mo which is always good, doing too much gaming, some selling of games (go to my 'shop' haha, grab a bargain :P )... I think the most exciting thing has been seeing a local college's MA interim show - click on this to go there :) - in which a friend of mine appears. I love seeing the diversity of styles, ideas, and ways of probing concepts and reality, truly a feat of mental and existential prowess that I struggle to put into words, regarding how powerful, provocative, and touching it is. How lucky I feel to witness these great creative muscles being flexed puts me in mind of how lucky I've been in the past to spend time with great writers and people, sharing in their journey, and their processes. Oof, I'm welling up a bit :/ See, I have a birthday, and then that's me for the rest of the month, thinking 'where did it all go wrong' haha, listening to music from my formative years and wondering what having my time again would be like :'D :'( What a mopey sod I can be!

So, in summary, I still can't help rambling. But no, I could be a lot worse, and I will never forget that I am lucky, especially as we are over a year in lockdowns, and so many people have not survived this disease, and the government's cracked priorities.

Come on, let's end on a happy note. How's about a book recommendation? Yes, I recommend Dylan Thomas' Under Milk Wood. There you go. I saw a production of it recently, and it reminded me how much I enjoyed it.

And how are you doing? What's your news?

Peace, love, and light to y'all :)

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