This Should Be A Happy Day

You're probably too young to remember, but I can recall the day when the launch of a new YouTube channel and its videos was a glorious thing, greeted with tumultuous applause, a veritable orgasm of emotional outpouring. Officials from the towns and cities would break a bottle of special reserve Champagne over the channel title - drips and drops of the drink dribbling down onto the sidebars and the videos themselves - and they'd have, oh, at least three cheers, but sometimes more. Maybe that was more a regional thing... My point is that they used to love it. Oh, yes, telegrams were sent, guns fired into the air, bunting put up, flags waved, you get the picture.

As the years passed, though, there were warning signs. Some of the officials that came to cut the tape and Champerschristen the budding vlog saplings started turning up late to the launches. Some of them yawned. Some of them, in remarkable displays of disrespect, drank the Champagne and smashed the empty bottle over the channel. All of a sudden, the police were "too overstretched" to clamp down on such breaches, and, little by little, our fine, upstanding traditions were whittled down to the attendance of a few die-hard fans, who might still bring a party-popper or two along, just to try and hark back to the grandeur of those halcyon days. Which brings us to

TODAY. You are now more likely to be punched in the nose, shot, or blacklisted from your local Screwfix for daring to impugn the sovereign nature of the internet with a new, upstart channel. Such besmirchments are clamped down on with a kind of 'negative vigour' that is the direct opposite of the joyous exulatations we used to see in support. 'Those were days', says this writer in a grim and ultimately pointless muttering into the void.

This writer is also launching his own channel. There's a video, anyway. Come what may, here it is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54IJdgWlM8A

Goodbye AdSense!

I have just cancelled my Google AdSense account.

There have been questions relating to the integrity of a writer who lets his blog be used by others to advertise products and services.

Lately the question of why I'm writing has had some answers. For example, I get very concerned about how many page views I have, it sometimes borders on obsession. I think this is unhealthy - one doesn't write to have everybody read one's work. One writes to reach somebody a lot of the time, yes, but an obsession over statistics and magnitude is not cool. I'd rather let go of the quantitative nightmares and focus on the qualitative dream. Keep writing, worry whether it's any good or not, hope it reaches 'the right people' (usually receptive and thoughtful folk), but forget about how many.

Getting rid of AdSense, which has earned me just over three pounds (which I can't claim because it's under the threshold of sixty), is a way of keeping the blog about what it should be (and probably never has been!
) - quality. Letting go of as many numbers as possible is a way of getting rid of as many distractions as I can.

We can only hope that the blog improves because of this...

Thanks to DS for the motivation.

'Holiday'

Hey folks, how are y'all today?

I've been thinking about the fact that I've blogged for nearly every day last month and, as I've said in other posts, I got plenty of views and some comments. That was very nice and all, but there has been a bit of a downside. I know some people have been a little bit fed up of the updates I've been posting which has made me think about cooling it down a bit.

There are some people who have done really well publishing every day. Calum Kerr did a great job on Flash365 (I believe his wife is currently doing a flash fiction piece a day). Incidentally a book containing a selection of some of them is available. I admire the patience, persistence and skill that he has and may try to do something like it in the future (hopefully without annoying people with my updates!). For now, however, I feel like I've done a lot of good (improving writing fitness, increasing confidence, encouraging a wee bit of discussion etc) and am going to tone it down now.

I'm not stopping blogging, or anything, I just want to compare and contrast a blog-heavy month with a blog-lite month. I have a workshop session coming up later in the month, so I want to get cracking on a piece for that. Will not spending as much time on here make me uber-productive elsewhere? I don't know, but let's see...

Speaking about writing though, I recently submitted a wee piece for a competition to win a copy of Threshold by David Hartley. It felt good doing a hundred-word piece, there was a sense of freedom to have fun. On the reading side of things, I really rather like Le Cafe Du Jour. N starts all the posts I've read with an artistic quote. It makes for great reading because it gets your mind going on themes and contexts before the body of the post. I think it's a great way of writing, especially since some people have made novels out of much of that material, right David Markson? It's all so thoughtful, so aware and well-written. I'd check it out if I were you, but since I'm me, I can be happy that I already have.

Oookay, so bit of a longer post than I'd normally like, well done if you made it to the end. So long! Peace out.

'How'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJdkE11KcNA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oiov0L4blIw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQci3F5Pq90

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqneW1Djqdo

Interesting...

"A blog is a personal diary. A daily pulpit. A collaborative space. A political soapbox. A breaking-news outlet. A collection of links. Your own private thoughts. Memos to the world.

Your blog is whatever you want it to be. There are millions of them, in all shapes and sizes, and there are no real rules.

In simple terms, a blog is a website, where you write stuff on an ongoing basis. New stuff shows up at the top, so your visitors can read what's new. Then they comment on it or link to it or email you. Or not.

Since Blogger was launched in 1999, blogs have reshaped the web, impacted politics, shaken up journalism, and enabled millions of people to have a voice and connect with others.

And we are pretty sure the whole deal is just getting started." 'Blogger Tour' from Blogger.com

WORLD'S DEADLIEST BLOG POST!

I wonder what that would be like?

It's Official

I'm now blogging for Edge Hill University!

I just hope I don't start neglecting this little darling...

Liverpool's On Fire!

Liverpool FC, that is. Today they cruised comfortably to a 3-0 win over Newcastle, though their performance was not perfect, it must be admitted.

The first goal came thanks to Newcastle defender Danny Simpson's deflection, otherwise Tim Krul would almost definitely have saved it. The second goal came thanks to Luis Suarez going down pretty easily under pressure from Mike Williamson in the box. Penalty awarded, Dirk Kuyt continued his fine form by totally beating Krul and finding the back of the net. To be fair to Suarez here, though, he had 'good' opportunities to dive that he didn't take, so well done for being a sportsman. The third goal came from the aforemention Uraguayan after Dirk gave him the chance to score from up close.

One lad who'll have plenty to say about this is an ardent Newcastle supporter and close personal friend Arran who has just started writing for a NUFC blog. Check that out at www.nufcblog.co.uk

Peace out!

Welcome!

Welcome to new readers, and indeed welcome back to those that are revisiting. I've been doing a little study of blogs recently for some uni work and the subject has started to fascinate me more than ever. It becomes apparent that I'm not the only one who struggles at some point or other with the direction that their weblog takes them. I've tried so hard to keep mine focused on something entertaining, above all, and well written. Sometimes it does 'degenerate' into something so self-centred it can't be interesting to outsiders, but that's what you have to work with.

Basically, there's so much info on the net and so many blogs therein, so how do you get people's attention? Well, there's money for advertising, but what I mean is that my 'best', 'most interesting/entertaining' and 'well written' post may not be the one at the front of the rest I have written. Thus, someone isn't going to 'follow' my blog, because they think the rest of the posts will be like this one, boring and a waste of time. I always think you should keep blogs short, but recently I've been talking at length about my 'blogetics'. Not very entertaining, maybe not even interesting, but I feel the need to discuss what I've learned. I also think it's important to include visual stimulus to break up the text (obviously there's not really a fitting one for the subject today, hence its weirdness), but I digress.

I kind of had a point and kind of didn't writing this post. When I had a point, I forgot it, and when I didn't I couldn't quite remember if I had one. Since I'm floundering terribly, I'll leave you with this: blogs are awesome. I really hope you're liking this one, but if not, even I know that there are so many which are so brilliant, there's no excuse for you, dear reader, not to find one to your liking.

Happy hunting!

WRI BLOG: 1,000 Word Self-Assessment

I've been looking forward to my century blog for quite some time now. The reaching of 100 posts is a nice little milestone demonstrating commitment, achievement and, perhaps, an opportunity to celebrate (with bubbly? Nah, probably just a cup of tea...). In some ways, this number has spurred me on to write when inspiration has been having a nap. I wondered, however, whether this was impacting on the quality of my blog. 'What quality?' you ask incredulously. Well, I never said it was a good blog, just that maybe my haste to post has lessened my ability even further than usual. 'Plastic Coffee', as an example was very short. Just a sentence. Three words. This got me thinking about my blog as a whole.

There are quite a few things I'm proud of in my humble little blog. 'Plastic Coffee', as an example again. The shortness of it is its charm in some way. I made it a sentence (or two if you include the title, which I like to use as an extra line sometimes) not to make it a quick blog, actually. To some people it'll have more significance than others; if you've ever had coffee out of a machine more than once you'll understand. Why did you get it again after it was so awful last time? Because you need caffeine. Why do you need that? Because you're tired after uni, or something. In this way, I was trying to create a very short story, one where the blanks are filled in, or left unanswered by the reader.

There are other 'experiments' I've enjoyed along the way too, such as a blog that was so short, it was just a title ('Common Sense and I are Not the Best of Friends'). That said it all. It was nothing I'd done, exactly, it was just a realization. Quite a flippant one.

I've cherished flippancy in some posts, it has mostly just been about fun at the end of the day. In the early days, I struggled to get away from the diary-like blog which, whether interesting or not (probably not, in my case), certainly wasn't all that creative. 'Column posts' (i.e. posts about views and opinions such as one'd find in a Jeremy Clarkson/ Charlie Brooker newspaper column) were a step up, as they allowed for more creative techniques in some ways: (ludic) narrative voice, pace, strange imagery etc. These column posts, and the 'step up' from that creatively, i.e. the fiction/poetry that I've posted, have been more like what I wanted my blog to be about from the off. Really, I just wanted to write the truth creatively and also write the creative truth. 'SCIENTISTS FIND HAIR DYE SHORTENS LIFE EXPECTANCY' is a prime example of writing the creative truth as I presented fiction in the account of a newspaper article to give it an authoritative 'truthful' voice. I kinda didn't want to admit that was an 'untruth' as I have already had people believing it to be otherwise, but I suppose a disclaimer never hurts.

So, like in life, we can never be sure of anything. I'm convinced that I'm getting happier with my blog, I believe that you should check out my followers and followees (as their blogs are, on the whole, much better) and I think that as long as some people are reading and getting something from this blog (like me girlyfriend! I was so proud when she told me she'd read it!) I'll never stop. Mwahahaha!

Peace out.

Urrrgh I'm So Ill...

Everything is a massive pain in my fat arse and I'm crabbier than a sandy beach thanks to feeling ill. My nose won't stop streaming, my head be clanging like a competition between bell ringers for the loudest noise and I keep coughing, because everyone loves to bring up funky coloured phlegm right?

I'm so bloody knackered now though. I can't even throw my snotty tissues straight anymore. In fact, I just threw one on target that managed to knock another one out of the bin as it bounced away. That sums up how I'm feeling nicely. WHINGE WHINGE! I know plenty of people have it much worse than I, but I'm physically drained of the ability to care about anything now...

I don't even care about this post. It's bloody boring...
Urrrgh...

Effort

In order to succeed at life, it's not a bad idea to put in a little effort. To succeed at a blog, it is also nice to put in some effort. That doesn't mean that a blog is life, though they are similar in some ways. They are similar in the sense that they can both be tough. Life is tough because of money worries, drought, famine, pestilence etc etc. Blogs are tough because sometimes you can't think what to write.

I was wondering what to write a moment ago. A few ideas flitted briefly around my otherwise-empty head and then ceased to flit. One of these ideas was a shout-out to Jess, whose birthday it is on Monday, or Arran, whose birthday it is on Sunday. Another idea was something in my writer's journal. Oh yes, the journal! Why don't I check the journal for inspiration?

Because the journal is in my jeans which are on the floor away from the bed I lie on. Going over to them would be too much effort.

Granted it ain't the kind of effort that Prometheus made when trying to steal fire from Zeus. Granted it ain't the level of graft that Martin Luther King Jr. made in trying to advance the Civil Rights Movement. Also, it's not the hard labour of an extremely fat person trying to walk to the fridge. However, it is too much effort for I.

Goodbye.

Over 1,000 Page Views!

Yay! A Milestone!!! Just as I was keeping an eye out for my century blog, I reach the 1,000th page view. Thanks to everyone who's looking, thanks to those who're reading and thanks to those who're following, you're all groovy!

Just remember, life is a funeral. It's a funeral of time. Time passes away constantly, it is always dying, it is always dead it is always death.

Diahorreah is spelled 'diarrhoea.'

Goodbye!

A Classic Example of Forcing Writing

As I was putting my empty Carlsberg cans into the recycling bin (AFTER washing them. God, I'm not Hitler you know...), I realised to a certain extent how much I'm missing university. I was whinging on again to myself about not having much time off, and even when I do get it it's interrupted by a shift that ends in the morning, meaning I have to waste over half my day off catching up on sleep. Rant over, I found myself glamourizing deadlines, yes, DEADLINES. I actually thought "At least you know where you are with a deadline, and all your time off is your own to do what you want with," much like you'd think, "Ooh whatever happened to being stung relentlessly by swarms of bees" after marauding honey-makers got replaced by strong acid in your water supply.

Again, I know how lucky I am to have a job... Yeah yeah yeah... But I am being dissolved painfully from the inside at the minute, at least according to my earlier analogy, and I yearn to be attacked by fat little flying insects once more. Leah, whose blog I pointed out last time (why haven't you checked it out yet? Why? WHY, OH GOD WHY?!?) has acted as a bit of a deadline to me recently, though that sounds pretty unflattering... She's been prompting me to write as regular as I used to, and I think I'm getting back into the swing of things. If you don't like me blogging, talk to her about it!

So, to clarify things: as much as I'm enjoying life at the mo, university will provide a welcome holiday from my holidays. Have a good night folks!

Do I Want Fries With That?

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Did You Know?

My blog layout (the colourful circle arrangementy type thingy-ma-bob) is a lot like my bed covers at home?

And, while writing that, I've noticed it's similar to my bed covers at uni too? OMG that's blogtastic right?

Pictured are the bedclothes, home first then uni. Es muy fascinante!

Stuffed Pasta and Gravy

You know, when watching The Sopranos one time, I heard Paulie talk about having some gravy with his pasta. Now I know in that sense, gravy is tomato sauce, not like British gravy. Nevertheless, I tried stuffed pasta with 'proper' gravy, and it's reet nice! I put mayonnaise in today, too, coz I think gravy and mayo is kewl, but obviously that's a bridge too far for some. EXPAND YOUR MINDS DUDES! I wouldv'e put a picture up, but I ate it too quick...
Saw Smoking Aces today, bit disappointed due to having huge expectations of the cast (Ray Liotta chief among them). It's not the most cerebral film ever (though it aspired to be more so than your common or garden action film), but the weird twists and turns about who was really who, and why people wanted what doing was hard to get my head around really. Doesn't help that I'm not the most intelligent person out there, but hey! Someone's gotta be bottom of the pile...
Found out a lovely lass from my course has her own blog on blogspot.com, you can check that out at http://dollypegandtheuntruths.blogspot.com/
Well, I'm listening to Elvis again and I'm gonna do some mo' work! See ya!