Basho's Balls

I have received loads of great feedback on my extremely witty jokes throughout this blog. In fact, the reason why I'm not posting every day isn't because of a lack of creativity or having better things to do, it's because I have to spend so much time each day replying to my fans' mail (some of it still comes through the post don't you know?). Anyway, enough of my trials and tribulations as a comedy genius, on with the show! I submit to you another brilliant joke, please enjoy:

It was the 257th derby match between Japanese Literary Figures Athletic and Legendary Vertically-Challenged Folk Albion, and everyone was expecting a real ding-dong battle between the two sides. After only half an hour, defender Basho had already clashed with forward Verne Troyer a few times and had a couple of warnings from the referee (Martin Atkinson, let's say, just to set the scene a bit better).

   All of a sudden, Charlie Stratton of the Legendary Vertically-Challenged Folk Albion broke forward on the left flank and fired a fantastic cross into the box for Troyer. Basho had no choice but to rush in and make an overhead clearance.

   Then the ref blew his whistle and flashed a yellow card at Basho. He was clearly livid, and shouted at Martin, "Why the hell did you show me a card? Was it because I pulled his shirt?"
   "No," he replied, "It was for your haibun."

Haha, geddit? 'Cause 'haibun' sounds like 'high boot'! Haha nah, I'm sure you didn't actually need me to explain that really... Phewf, I think you'll agree that I've surpassed myself yet again with that corker. See you again in a few months when I've dealt with more of my mail!

Just cherry poppin'

Hi all!
My name is Martin and I'm studying English and Creative Writing at Edge Hill University. I've flirted with the idea of starting a blog for some time now, but not til a few minutes ago did I decided to take the plunge. I'm not a particularly technology-minded kinda guy; I stopped using MySpace and Bebo ages ago (mainly due to the fact that replying to all my comments etc started taking hours each time) and I haven't signed up to the infamous institution known as Facebook. That being said, writing daily is part of my course, and indeed part of the vocation of being a writer if you want to be more precise, so I decided to start this blog. It's not a social networking site in the traditional sense, although you do get to talk to people on the vast network that is the internet. It's more of an information-based thing, which is going to suit me better!
I realised, as well as the benefits to my course, that I look at loads of blogs regularly for fun. I'm sure we've all been there when we're bored at the computer and decide to go on a 'Google rampage,' desperately trying to find something fun and avoid the work we've got to do! It's often here that the keyword I'm searching for is found in someone's blog, and reading what they've written about the thing I'm interested in is great. There's a lot of criticism of blogging due to the fact there's no regulation on opinion or verification of facts necessary, but I say the entertainment is in looking at a multitude of opinions, assessing their biases and reaching a balanced opinion for myself. So yeah, the point of this paragraph is: however poor my blog is, I hope that there are some people out there who stumble across it and find something that they liked in it, pure and simple. I am a simple person (yes, in the intelligence department especially) and I'm simply going to give something back to the blogging community.
I've got a lot more to say, but this is my first foray into the blogging world so I'll restrict myself until later.
Peace out!