Basho's Balls

I have received loads of great feedback on my extremely witty jokes throughout this blog. In fact, the reason why I'm not posting every day isn't because of a lack of creativity or having better things to do, it's because I have to spend so much time each day replying to my fans' mail (some of it still comes through the post don't you know?). Anyway, enough of my trials and tribulations as a comedy genius, on with the show! I submit to you another brilliant joke, please enjoy:

It was the 257th derby match between Japanese Literary Figures Athletic and Legendary Vertically-Challenged Folk Albion, and everyone was expecting a real ding-dong battle between the two sides. After only half an hour, defender Basho had already clashed with forward Verne Troyer a few times and had a couple of warnings from the referee (Martin Atkinson, let's say, just to set the scene a bit better).

   All of a sudden, Charlie Stratton of the Legendary Vertically-Challenged Folk Albion broke forward on the left flank and fired a fantastic cross into the box for Troyer. Basho had no choice but to rush in and make an overhead clearance.

   Then the ref blew his whistle and flashed a yellow card at Basho. He was clearly livid, and shouted at Martin, "Why the hell did you show me a card? Was it because I pulled his shirt?"
   "No," he replied, "It was for your haibun."

Haha, geddit? 'Cause 'haibun' sounds like 'high boot'! Haha nah, I'm sure you didn't actually need me to explain that really... Phewf, I think you'll agree that I've surpassed myself yet again with that corker. See you again in a few months when I've dealt with more of my mail!

To You

I tell you what, Im overwhelmed by 'Dolly Peg and the Untruths'. By the way, if you're an idiot, that's one of the blogs I'm following at the mo and, for my money, one of the best. The voice is so down to earth, so informed and - as I know from personal experience - the author is so lovely, it's such a great thing. I was recently pretty unwell and I got a comment from the lass in question wishing me well. Wise beyond her years and a lovely person too, check out 'Dolly Peg and the Untruths' at http://dollypegandtheuntruths.blogspot.com/
Erm, aside from reading better blogs, I've been going to lectures and using earplugs TO STOP EVERYONE'S NOISE FROM STOPPING ME SLEEPING!!! Yeah I'm an angry mofo atm, hope that doesnt't rub off on you guys. Seriously, all I got to tell ya is that I been drinking tonight, alternating Carlsberg (Liverpool F.C.'s sponsor...) with Jagermeister (which I've recently been told has herbal remedy properties).
Well I'm getting 'too far gone' atm, so erm love life and check out decent blogs lol... I'm off for some rum cocktails etc...
Btw, my last pic of tea was taken without me stirring the mixture, i.e. I let the milk diffuse naturally, so that may be why it looks so sexy! Today I got a picture of (and I'm making this up as I type)... a box of tissues... I don't know what I'm doing anymore... I'm taking it coz it's on the desk in front of me... Ciao!