Friday, 15 July 2011

The 'Travis Bickle'

If you ain't familiar with the 'wink and sink', it is a move popularized in WKD's televisual advertisement campaign. To complete a 'wink and sink' you need to be playing pool with someone. When you have a shot lined up and want to humiliate/banterize your opponent, you look them in the eye, take the shot and - providing you pot the intended ball and don't foul - you're awesome.

I just did the 'Travis Bickle'. It's where you're having a piss and you line up your shot before looking in a nearby mirror and doing shooting pistol movements at yourself with your free hand in said silver-nitrated pane. Obviously missing the bowl here would render the 'Travis Bickle' a fail, but I didn't fail, and it felt good.

The thing that didn't feel good was age/wisdom. Hardly any of my friends have watched Martin Scorsese's 1976 classic Taxi Driver, and probably not many of my readers have. I'm old, bitter and fed up that most of you probably watch and love 'Glee' more than you do decent stuff...

:-( Boohoo moan moan!

Peace out guys xxx

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Corrections for Oxcliffe Road

1. The BP garage is a garage, not a boxing ring or a shouting contest.
2. Oxcliffe Road is a residential area, not a discoteque, or ballroom or whatever it is you kids do these days.
3. Oxcliffe Road is a way of driving to/from Marine Road, Fairfield Road, Kingsway or further whilst obeying the rules of the road. It is not a bloody drag racing strip.
4. Further to point 3, car tyres work best when gripping the road's surface as opposed to wheen being wheelspun in an attempt to pull out of a garage looking cool.
5. Our garden is a garden, not a bin or tip. Keep your rubbish to yourself you dirty bastards!
6. Your car is a device that endables you to get from point A to B via the aforementioned road system, it is not a speaker on wheels that you should definitely use to blast out similar chavvy crap that the people from point 2 do.