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Tuesday 18 May 2010

It Must be Quite a Test of Mental Fortitude

I'm now looking at a freeview channel, called something like 'Babeland,' and I thought I'd give it a mention. It's pretty hit and miss when it comes to arousal, but it basically involves one or maybe two women trying to entice you into calling a premium rate number to talk to them. Unlike regular porn, so I hear from... erm... my uncle (?), there's no actual sex involved. Thus, I feel, for a lass or two to gyrate in front of a camera for however long it is (must be hours) without the necessary reciprocated sensory pleasure for sex to be good requires a lot of recognition. It's like trying to drive a car without wheels; you've got the vehicle, but you ain't goin' nowhere!

God bless 'em, an' I 'ope that they's gettin' what vey want outta loif.

La La Laaah

The world's okay.
Well, that's a very solipsistic point of view...
How's the world with you?

My only current nag is that after a shift in my current job, due to being constantly moving on my feet, I am moving around the house like Verbal Kint (http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0002072/). And I'm not sure if I'm treating my friends well enough... It's hard to get outside of my head most of the time...

I'd like to really recommend Matt at http://the-metaphorical-alchemist.blogspot.com/ and Sassy at http://volcanicensemble.blogspot.com/. The former has got the balls to put excellent creative and personal material up (I know they are the same thing in essence, but lets not get too pedantic) and the latter is always extremely witty with often 'out of the box' humour. To be honest, I only put people in my reading list who are great/relevant, so why not read some blogs from the list, see how you do?

Saturday 15 May 2010

PETER KAY!


Wasn't great... To be honest, we at the MEN Arena had to listen to one half of the show dedicated to the usual childhood recollections and chat about TV programmes. I had to force a visible smile really, a bit like when your in a room full of people who find off-colour jokes funny, but you've had a relative that suffered from 'that' recently, and you smile and look to the floor so as not to look out of place. Anyhoo, second half was much better, some lols there. The friends who I went with summed it up nicely though; there were no "hearty" laughs. So you pay a pretty penny for a night that's certainly not bad, but was it worth it? His encore was great, a real performance piece. I'd love to elaborate, but if this show is anything like 'Live at Blackpool Tower' then it'll be on Channel 5 soon, repeated enough times for those with learning difficulties to be able to repeat the whole thing word for word. Don't even get me started on why Rick Astley supported him (and I ain't talking about Pete's sports bra here. Ooh low blow...)


Just watched The Man Who Wasn't There. Not only is this a Coen brothers' film, it also contains James Gandolfini. Bloody brilliant! Twas all in black and white, which may put some people off, but another great mix of characters, another farcical plot and a mix of ideas about justice and the comedy of life made for great viewing. Scarlett Johansson played a blinder lololol.


I'm a bit scared about going on, so I'll wish you all some inner peace and be off. I leave you with the final picture taken of my room in halls, which I'm now officially moved out of.

Wednesday 5 May 2010

Electionz!!!

I'm trying to get kids involved in politics by spelling words cool-ly. How did I do? Sorry, an old, out-of-touch-with-the-modern-world politician moment there.

Just saw a funny soundbite on BBC news. I'll adhere to the company's rule of giving the three major parties equal coverage here. The headlines were focusing on the 'dying throes' of the election campaigns:

David Cameron was in a hall with a load of supporters and probably said something like, 'We must have change.'

Nick Clegg was outside with some supporters saying something like, 'Don't vote for what politicians tell you to vote for. Vote for what's best for you and your family. Aim high.'

Then Gordon Brown in a conference room (full of balloons by the way) saying something along the lines of 'We are the only serious party. Come back to Labour.'

Only serious party? What was with all the balloons then? It looks like you hi-jacked a three-year-old's birthday party! I'd still vote labour, I guess the balloons worked their magic...

Precipice

I hope you've all heard the news: Dolly's back! Check out 'Dolly Peg and the Untruths' in the blogs I follow section.

Been another while since I was bloggin' and quite a bit has gone on. I'll get the footy out the way first for ya; Liverpool are now out the Europa league. We won our second game 2-1 but in extra time they scored. That made it 2-2 on aggregate but, due to the 'away goals rule' (coz they scored at Anfield), they kicked us out of the competition with a very heavy military-style boot. Still nursing bruises... We also lost our last Premier League game against Chelsea. We were doing bloody good in the first half, but a Stevie G back pass let Drogba score his first ever at our ground. After this, they were very confident and the red men's heads went down, letting another one in later on... Bummer.For us fans it has been a bit like dragging a massive rock up a hill this season. We've all had to come together and try and work through the trials. Now, however, the rock we've been dragging has rolled over onto us and yeah it's pretty crushing :-(

Other than that, I've had my induction at Morecambe Wetherspoon's. Twas a little scary, granted, but there were a couple of other new recruits who were sound lads. I know there are some people on my side now, even if they have had jobs before and are thus much more experienced. Got my first shift tomorrow actually and I've been bouncing between two frames of mind: 'OMG OMG OMG SH*********T WTF AM I GONNA DO???' and 'It'll be fine. You've got some stuff to learn but there are people there to help you.' Well all I can do is my best!

Come up with some nice writing ideas. I nearly lost one of them coz I had an idea before bed and couldn't be bothered to get to a notepad to write it down. Next morning I had forgotten, silly me! Anyways I remembered in the end. Let this be a lesson to ya; have a notepad in your pocket and by your bedside just in case! Oh yeah and a working pen would be nice too...

Peace out...