The Best

I was on my way out of Morrisons today, and by the exit there was a guy trying to sell double glazed, self cleaning windows. You know the type.

Fenetre Vendor: 'Scuse me sir, would you be interested in our new range of self-cleaning windows?

Me: No, sorry, I'm not in control of my windows.

Fenetre Vendor: Oh you mean to say, more accurately, that you are renting a property and decisions of this nature pertaining to the place's upkeep fall under the jurisdiction of the landlord or landlady?

Me: No, I mean my windows are wild. They are literally out of control. Good day to you...