Saturday, 30 March 2013

Let's Try Again

Okay, so it has come to my attention that my last joke wasn't received as well as it should've been. Maybe it was my fault, perhaps I made it a bit too subtle for you. But don't worry, I don't blame you, I know that Italian food and phonetics are a pretty heady mix. Some say it's too strong, that I'm mad for being so avant-garde, but I can't help it. I can't help how the muses choose to inspire me can I? Anyway, I'm going to try this again, but I've tweaked it to make a little bit more understandable. Here we go, Italian food and phonetics joke mk. II...

A really beautiful blonde in a red dress is sat alone at a table. She is clearly waiting for a date as she keeps checking her watch, looking at the door every time someone comes in etc etc. While she waits she nibbles on some of the complimentary bread, dipping into olive oil and/or marinara sauce. No, just marinara sauce.
A sharply-dressed man, probably wearing Louis Vuitton or Topman or something, notices she's bored and alone so walks over from the bar.
Man: I couldn't help noticing you're over here all alone.
Woman: Yes I'm afraid my fat date has stood me up. My, you are a very handsome and good-looking person.
Man: Right back focaccia (bread).

I don't want to offend anyone, but you struggled with the last joke so I'll explain it. Right, she's eating focaccia bread (the extra layer here comes with the marinara sauce. I was going to say olive oil, but obviously marinara sauce has a richer comic heritage). 'Focaccia' sounds quite like 'atcha' ('at you' said more vernacularly), so the little back and forth between the two, er, people is funny. Funny 'cause it sounds like something... or something. Something else.
Like I say, I can't help it. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

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Just keep it clean (ish)!