Day Six

 Got some spare old money lying around that you don't know what to do with? Why not give it to charity? This one seems as good as any: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Martin-Palmer5

Today's just been crap, really. I was emotional this morning because of a song I'd heard on the radio. It got me thinking about mum and other close friends and family that have passed over the years. Then I went out to work, and it wasn't the most fulfilling of days. It was very quiet, due to yet more local roadworks, and I was left alone with my thoughts for a long time. I found myself reverting to my habit [that word again...] of looking at all the beer bottles in the beer room and wondering which I'd like to have after my shift. Of course, that would have been a direct contravention of the my Sober October agreement, so was out of the question.

Mum is my motivation today. Yes, I've had some more generous folk donating to the page, but I needed more today. One of the last times I remember mum saying she was proud of me was when I'd graduated from university. Looking back, I'm actually prouder of her. As the picture shows, she has grey hair. Before chemotherapy made her lose her hair, she used to dye it, but after it grew back, she wanted it natural. The reason I'm saying this is so that you can see that, despite being in the middle of her fight with cancer, she still came out to support me at the graduation ceremony with a brave face. I think she enjoyed it, and she was proud, but as I say I'm proud of her too.

I've already said it, but the idea of not drinking for a month would've made mum raise an eyebrow. She would've asked why on earth I'd want to go and do something like that. But I think she'd've been happy in the knowledge I was doing something healthy [after all, she has seen me in some right states. Singing Elvis in the bathroom before falling asleep on the loo wasn't exactly a high point...], and touched as well, had she known that she was the inspiration behind the endeavour.

Never miss an opportunity to show you care for someone. And if you can lend a helping hand to those that could do with it, like Macmillan who helped her as she reached the end of her life, then it's great to do it.

Peace out.

Two Torn Halves: Against National Poetry Day

Two Torn Halves: Against National Poetry Day: The problem is life. Every time you think you are breathing you are fucking the dead. The problem is the midlands. Every time you read a boo...

Day Five

All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy. All work and no alcohol makes Martin a dull boy.

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Having a Habit Habit

I must say that I've been missing alcohol today. In the shop I work in, we offer tasters of some of our wares, which currently include three different vodka-based drinks flavoured with Kendal mint cake, gingerbread and toffee. Simply put, they are amazing, and I say that as someone without a sweet tooth. Anyway, my point is that today there was a customer who wanted a sample of these drinks, and they were obliged. After they'd left, I was alone with the pungent smells of these drinks as they lingered in the air. I noticed that there was a bit of the drink left in the bottom of the glass, and had a sudden urge to finish it off, before, like a whip, I snapped back to the reality of the situation.

Don't worry, though. I can confirm that I am still completely sober.

The thing I'm most concerned about is that I seem to be eating more. This normally happens when I decide to halt the alcohol consumption, so it doesn't come as a surprise, but it is disappointing. I don't seem to have too much a problem taking action, it's the side-effects that get me. I feel like I'm in some whack-a-mole cartoon where I'm trying to mallet a mole as it sticks its head up through holes in my lawn. Whenever I hit the mole that sticks its head through the alcohol hole [or 'alocohole'], it pops right back up the food hole. It sounds horrendous, I know. I'm so privileged that I can indulge myself in this way, and I carry guilt for it.

Basically, I have a habit habit. It's also known as 'greed'. I'm hoping that this period of adjustment is over soon, and I don't stop getting the cravings to have a drink or stuff scran down me throat. Either way, Sober October is a chance to show myself that have will power. That'd be nice, as I don't feel that I have any at the mo.

As for the general greed, that's something I'm working on too. We'll see - on both counts.


Give us yer money (pretty please)! https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Martin-Palmer5

Big News

Listen. I'm really sorry to tell you this, but I've got to come clean. I thought maybe I could sweep it under the rug and carry on as normal, but I can't. It's eating me up inside. I've got to tell tell you that I had a beer this evening. Don't worry, though, dear readers, it was only a ginger beer! HA HA HA! Don't say I didn't get you with that little hook, because I know I did!

Anyway, now we've had our little moment of hilarity, I'll get on with the normal stuff...

When I decided on a regular blogging schedule for my month off the booze, I thought I was mainly going to talk about the overall campaign, with a smattering of posts moaning about having clear heads, better sleep, more money left over and having less fun. So far, though (and yeah, I know it's only the third day...), I've focussed more on the experience of doing it. Since things are probably going to be the same in that respect until, I reckon, a couple of weeks in (where my thirst tends to get to me, based on previous times I've done this kind of thing), I want to move on from that. I hear there's only so much rubbish blog readers will put up with...

The actual big news today is that, thanks to donors' amazing generosity, my original target of £250 has been all but fulfilled already. Since I don't want anybody's feet being taken off any 'gases', I've doubled the aim. As I said in a recent update, to get near to £500 would probably make me speechless, so that's a good reason to give up some of your hard-earneds isn't it?

Anyway, that's it from me. I've just enjoyed a lovely reading at The Other Room, and, as soon as I can, I must go to bed before I fall over.
Want to donate? You can do so here: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Martin-Palmer5

Day Two

I was working at a beer festival today. In some ways this is the same story as yesterday; I was in the prime location for maximum potential enjoyment of a beverage or ten, but I didn't partake. Again, a new raft of ultra-generous givers made this easier, and thinking of all the lovely people who've donated so far has been a great help, but there're still some odd new feelings milling around.


I wouldn't say I'm struggling (yet!). In fact, a soda and lime and, later, a coffee have been refreshing and energising options, if not the most stimulating to the inner mind and the experiential faculties. It just still feels different somehow, and the feeling is changing from day to day.


I'm not desperate to drink, and I'm conscious that I'm enjoying the alcohol-free alternatives but there's something else... I don't think it's an aversion to arbitrary constraints (some kind of revulsion at a self-imposed authority), because what I feel isn't exactly frustration, or any of the other things I've felt before. I sort of feel at a loose end. Ish. I sometimes feel that I can't 'get right' (and admittedly have used alcohol before to try and 'get my buzz back' or 'feel a bit more human'), but what I'm feeling now isn't owt like that either. So I don't know what I'm on about... Well that was worth reading wasn't it? Bet you're glad you visited Blogtastic today...


Anyway, soon I'll have an update that isn't absolutely meaningless twoddle, so hopefully you'll persevere and I'll catch you then. Tata!


Show 'em the link, Jimmy! https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Martin-Palmer5

Day One

Last request

Pictured is the last beer I'll have for a month. It was lovely. Floral and fruity hops zinged, it was cold and refreshing and OH MY GOD I'M THIRSTY AND I WANT A BEER!!! 

Nah, I'm alright really. I didn't force myself to 'make the most' of my 'last night' by getting really drunk, so I didn't wake up with a hangover this morning and things are just normal.

I have to say, this stint of abstinence does feel different to other ones though. Let me explain... I was watching Liverpool play today. I was in my local pub, in my shirt, everything was as it usually is when I go to watch football. Everything but the booze.

I genuinely enjoyed my two colas, I have to say [normally I find one pint is the limit for sickliness, but today I managed two no problem]. The problem was that the lights on the T-bars were shining brighter than usual, the pump clips were all singing their songs of taste temptation with great gusto and the medication I'm taking to reduce exaggeration continued to fail. I was looking at every lager, every ale, and wanting the bitter tingle of hops to sate me down to my core. Then I remembered that I couldn't. And it kept happening... I thought about toasting a Liverpool win with a whisky, but I couldn't. When I normally take a break from alcohol, I'm not troubled, but today I was.

Still, there are many positives. I had a lot of shopping to do after the game, and that wouldn't have gone so smoothly with four pints sloshing around inside me, so that was good. Saved a few pennies, of course [which I'll add up and put toward my JustGiving total at the month's end]. The main thing I want to point out, though, is how generous people have already been. £59.20 so far, and it's only day one! I'd like to say thanks to all the donors so far [I won't name them, in case that makes anyone feel uncomfortable. You know, for Sermon on the Mount reasons]. It cheered me up no end to see your generosity, and it gave me motivation to resist those delicious pints earlier - I won't let you down!

Peace out folks, and here's that link again: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Martin-Palmer5