Having a Habit Habit

I must say that I've been missing alcohol today. In the shop I work in, we offer tasters of some of our wares, which currently include three different vodka-based drinks flavoured with Kendal mint cake, gingerbread and toffee. Simply put, they are amazing, and I say that as someone without a sweet tooth. Anyway, my point is that today there was a customer who wanted a sample of these drinks, and they were obliged. After they'd left, I was alone with the pungent smells of these drinks as they lingered in the air. I noticed that there was a bit of the drink left in the bottom of the glass, and had a sudden urge to finish it off, before, like a whip, I snapped back to the reality of the situation.

Don't worry, though. I can confirm that I am still completely sober.

The thing I'm most concerned about is that I seem to be eating more. This normally happens when I decide to halt the alcohol consumption, so it doesn't come as a surprise, but it is disappointing. I don't seem to have too much a problem taking action, it's the side-effects that get me. I feel like I'm in some whack-a-mole cartoon where I'm trying to mallet a mole as it sticks its head up through holes in my lawn. Whenever I hit the mole that sticks its head through the alcohol hole [or 'alocohole'], it pops right back up the food hole. It sounds horrendous, I know. I'm so privileged that I can indulge myself in this way, and I carry guilt for it.

Basically, I have a habit habit. It's also known as 'greed'. I'm hoping that this period of adjustment is over soon, and I don't stop getting the cravings to have a drink or stuff scran down me throat. Either way, Sober October is a chance to show myself that have will power. That'd be nice, as I don't feel that I have any at the mo.

As for the general greed, that's something I'm working on too. We'll see - on both counts.


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