Today's just been crap, really. I was emotional this morning because of a song I'd heard on the radio. It got me thinking about mum and other close friends and family that have passed over the years. Then I went out to work, and it wasn't the most fulfilling of days. It was very quiet, due to yet more local roadworks, and I was left alone with my thoughts for a long time. I found myself reverting to my habit [that word again...] of looking at all the beer bottles in the beer room and wondering which I'd like to have after my shift. Of course, that would have been a direct contravention of the my Sober October agreement, so was out of the question.
Mum is my motivation today. Yes, I've had some more generous folk donating to the page, but I needed more today. One of the last times I remember mum saying she was proud of me was when I'd graduated from university. Looking back, I'm actually prouder of her. As the picture shows, she has grey hair. Before chemotherapy made her lose her hair, she used to dye it, but after it grew back, she wanted it natural. The reason I'm saying this is so that you can see that, despite being in the middle of her fight with cancer, she still came out to support me at the graduation ceremony with a brave face. I think she enjoyed it, and she was proud, but as I say I'm proud of her too.
I've already said it, but the idea of not drinking for a month would've made mum raise an eyebrow. She would've asked why on earth I'd want to go and do something like that. But I think she'd've been happy in the knowledge I was doing something healthy [after all, she has seen me in some right states. Singing Elvis in the bathroom before falling asleep on the loo wasn't exactly a high point...], and touched as well, had she known that she was the inspiration behind the endeavour.
Never miss an opportunity to show you care for someone. And if you can lend a helping hand to those that could do with it, like Macmillan who helped her as she reached the end of her life, then it's great to do it.